The Light In My Dark
by CaptainBrieOnToast
Summary: After Sam cures Dean of his demon disease, Dean goes into hiding. Feeling the guilt of what Demon him had done. But when Castiel finds out, he goes to help Dean out. Sort of Destiel, it's more implied then anything. Really strongly implied. One shot!


It had been a long time since Dean had been cured. Really Dean was relieved. Being a demon, had really opened up some problems with Dean. It made him realize how many problems he had. Crowley had been correct in saying that the only demon was his own. His soul had been corrupted by himself, his own problems, and he took it out on people he cared about. He almost killed so many people. His brother a multitude of times, Garth, normal people, a couple strippers, then there was Cas. He had tortured Castiel for hours, on hours. Just for no reason either. He had done it just because he could, and he had. Crowley had been proud of his work too. That's what really got to Dean. Crowley had been proud of him. Dean had never actually been bothered by torturing people. He had done it a lot in Hell, and he was used to the tortured screams. The way they begged for him to stop. The pained look on their faces. It didn't get to him until he tortured Castiel. Because it was harder to get Castiel to scream. It took a harsher form of torture to make Castiel beg for mercy. He drove that angel blade into Castiel, dragging him to the edge of Death and then bringing him away from it, only to hang him back over that ledge. The worst part is that after a while. After some time, he stopped screaming. He stopped begging. Instead he just gazed painfully and sadly at Dean, telling him he was sorry, saying that he deserved this pain, this torture. Now, it really got to Dean, because he hated himself fr making Castiel feel that way.

That was one of the reasons why after Sam finally cured Dean, Dean ran away. It had been a couple of quiet months. Dean wasn't sure how many months exactly. He had lost count a long time ago. He didn't keep track either. Instead he just locked himself up in a room, with no windows or doors, and stayed there, his food supply was running low, and so was his supply of water. But it was too late to go back now. Dean was deep under the ground, and this room he had locked himself in was made completely of concrete. Dean couldn't see a thing either. He was completely blind too. Couldn't see a thing, because it was too dark to see anything, and he didn't want to see anything. He was afraid, he would look down at his clothes and see the blood of his victims, or looked down at his hands and think about how he used them to strangle Sam. Or just see Castiel's face as he told him that he was sorry. Dean grabbed his face, rubbing it with his hands hard. He couldn't stand this. Why couldn't he just die already? At that point Dean's phone began to ring. He had made sure to secure a way to keep his phone charged and on, so that he could receive calls down here. He never answered the phone, the reception would probably be horrible. But he knew that he needed something to remind him that he had been a demon, and that there was a reason he was down here. There was a reason he hadn't crawled out of the one escape he had from this dark prison. Sam's messages always did that for him. Dean quietly pulled out his phone, so that he could listen to the voicemail Sam had left him.

'Dean? I don't know why you're doing this. I wish you wouldn't. I've looked everywhere for you. I've asked everyone I think you know where you are. I even went to Lisa. She.. She was dead.. Ben was dead too... I-I think you killed them?'

Dean cringed. Yeah. He had killed them, he had killed them because they were happy, and because he hated that they were happy without him, So he had killed them.

'I'm worried about you Dean, and I know you wouldn't want me to, but I am going to tell Castiel that we cured you, and that you are missing. If anyone will find you he will. Hopefully, he will put you straight. And don't say he doesn't care about you, because I know he does. And... Dean.. Please just...'

With those words, the message was ended, and Dean sighed, guilt flying through him. He hadn't meant to hurt anyone, yet he had hurt someone. He hurt people even when he was trying not to hurt someone. He was better off dead.

Suddenly, the entire room began to shake, and a bright light filled the room, blinding Dean.

"Hello Dean," a voice spoke out, and Dean, moved the arm away from his eyes, staring at the beacon of light until the tan figure in front of him came back into view. Dean couldn't believe he hadn't immediately recognized the voice. All he knew was that he did recognize the actual person.

"Stay away from me," Dean choked out, groaning at how sore his throat was. He had not been drinking enough water. It hurt to talk, and it hurt even more to actually be in the light. "I'm a monster." Castiel looked down at him, worry etching his features.

"No you aren't Dean. Sam said he fixed you," Castiel replied, taking a step towards Dean, as if he could make everything better.

"No one can fix me Cas. That demon, that was me. I knew exactly what I was doing, and I liked it," Dean snapped, trying to jump to his feet. But as he got to his feet, he felt the blood race to his head, blurring his vision and making him fall back to the ground.

"Dean-" Castiel started, but Dean cut him off with a glare.

"No. Don't tell me it's okay. Don't tell me, you forgive me. Don't say it wasn't my fault because it was," Dean snapped. His was angry, and he didn't want to be angry. But he knew that Castiel did care about him to some extent, and when people care about Dean they get hurt. Castiel included. Sometimes Dean just tried to push him away, but Castiel was a stubborn person, He wouldn't let himself be pushed away. "Why do you always insist on forgiving me for shit that I shouldn't be forgiven for!" Castiel looked at Dean, tilting his head to the left slightly.

"Isn't that what you do when you love someone?" Castiel asked. Dean's eyes widened slightly as he looked over at Castiel and rethought about what Castiel had just said.

Isn't that what you do when you love someone?

_Isn't that what you do when you love someone?_

"How can you love someone like me?" Dean asked, his voice full of disgust for himself. He was sure Castiel was lying, or just meant he loved him like family. Not the way that Dean loves Castiel.

"When you know someone," Castiel said slowly. "You can love them, no matter what they do.

Dean gaped at Castiel a little. Castiel. The emotionless angel that raised Dean from Hell. The one who barely understood human emotion, was suddenly a love expert. So instead of answering, Dean just scoffed, and looked away from Castiel, as he started to get to his feet. But in a second Castiel was in front of Dean, staring down at him.

"Dean. Let me save you..." Castiel said. "Come with me."

"Why?" Dean asked. "I will just kill more people. Ruin more things. I almost killed you Cas. I can't risk that again."

"Because we are Ohana and Ohana means family and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten," Castiel replied, grabbing Dean's wrist. Dean gave him a sour look.

"Who made you watch Lilo and Stitch?" And like that the ice was broken. Dean made eye contact with Dean, and then Castiel teleported them out of Dean's area. The minute they were in the light Dean cringed, but Castiel gave him a tiny smile. One of those smiles that Dean cherished so much, because they were so rare, and Dean knew it would be okay.

"Dean!" Sam's excited voice called, and the man began to run to his brother, a large smile on his face. Dean smiled at him, and it was like old times. But even so, Dean could see that look in Sam's eye. That one that said things aren't over. But then again. Things were never over. But as long as he had Sam, and Castiel, everything would be as good as a hunters life gets.

* * *

**Author's Note:**  
One shot?

One shot.

I hope everyone liked it. I worked pretty hard on it. I kinda liked writing it too. I tried to make the ending light, but believable, because come on. The Winchester's lives will never be easy, and neither will Castiel's. The wasn't pure Destiel, but it was certainly implied. I just didn't know how to work a kiss in, and it not be random. But I tried to put those thoughts in Dean's head. Anyways hope y'all liked it!


End file.
